Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 11:31 PM

Angel Of The Night

My angel of the night walks slowly passed my door,
My heart skips a beat and silently yearns for more.

Does she know how my heart does truly feel?
The second that she smiles I know that this is real.

Even if all the stars burned up from the sky,
And all of god’s children began to wail and cry.

I would walk to hell and back for but a glimpse of you,
Because I’m a man of honor and this is what we do.

And in the end there may come a night in which I may have to fight,
For my sweet angel of the night.

I know this does not sound very smart,
Can I help it ……I must follow my lonely heart

Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 11:55 PM

I'm not sure where or how to start. I'm not even sure if it's just me or any other reasons why I feel this. I'm not sure if i even make sense.

Everywhere I go, I feel like I'm always alone. It's like people have their own thing and I am left watching from the outside. They're like spirits who come and go. Why do i get the feeling that nobody cares? Why do I feel that I don't exist in this world. What if i was not born..would it make any difference? Would the world be the same without me? Drama? ..nah. But it's just how I feel. I'm pretty sure that I'm not a loner neither do I like that feeling of being alone.

Its actually 2 scenarios for me:
1. People seem to be distant
2. People seem to think that I am distant.


Maybe it is just me. A friend told me to "try and reach out to them". But how would I do that? How will I share something that I'm not even sure people would want to hear and understand.

It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I can't sometimes. It's really hard for me and I don't know why it even is. Reaching out..and sharing a part of me..damn! I can't even tell why I'm like this! Most probably it's the fear of getting rejected by peers. *sigh* Am I really that distant? The stupid me can't even answer these questions. I'm just left wondering most of the time.

I am willing to try ...question is...are they willing to listen?

Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 12:25 AM

Breathe by Michelle Branch

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
You say I've been driving you crazy and its keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I dont wanna waste another moment
in saying things we never meant to say

And I Take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I've been waiting for a chance to let you in

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space in between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe

Well it's all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real
And I Give you just a little time
I, Wonder if you realize
I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Breathe

So I whisper in the dark,
Hoping you hear me
Do you hear me?

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
Everything is alright if i just breathe... breathe

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain

Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 3:45 AM

Physically, a mask is used to cover up the face. However it can also serve as "cover" for emotions. I guess that's where a mask comes in. You don't wanna show the world what you're feeling. You also don't want them to see your pain and suffering.

"The feeling of not being wanted REALLY hurts doesn't it?"

Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 10:04 PM

Ang haba na ng na-compose ko for my entry pero nung nag-publish post nag page cannot be displayed. In short, nawala lahat ng ginawa ko. Ganda at ang galeng!

Ayoko na ulitin yung serious part of my entry. Anyway here's a a little something about me:

Name: Jerome Dashiel D. Tolentino
Age: 23. I could pass up for 16 yrs old. Alam ni jing kwento neto.
Food: Manggang hilaw with bagoong. Strawberry shake ng Big Chill. chocolates ng Cadbury

Human Trait - Likes: Strong willed, natural at hindi pretentious
Human Trait - Dislikes: backstabbers.

Jerome's Factoids:

1. Torpe ako simula pagkabata up until ngayon. (up until now hanggang tingin pa din hehehe)
2. 2x akong grumaduate. One for Grade 6 - Aquinas School and One for Grade 7- Lourdes School of Mandaluyong
3. Dreamt of being a fireman when I was little.
4. I can somehow "feel" the presence of a ghost.
5. Frustrated drummer ako
6. I was named as "bading magnet" back in college by my blockmates. (may natural na ablility daw akong maka attract ng mga taong ganito).
7. Feet Size of 11 or 12.
8. Gusto ko pahaba ng buhok but cannot since magmumukha nakong addict :)
9. Plenty of moles throughout the body--lalo na sa mukha
10. It's hard for me to cry. I never even remembered the last time I cried hard.
11. I hate the rain...everything feels dark and gloomy
12. Aside from fearing God, I have a fear of disappointing others
13. I cannot live without a PC sa bahay. I can consider that as 50% of my life sa bahay.
14. I seem so cold and emotionless pero inside I'm really concerned especially if it's for my friends
15. I am sort of a loner. Sometimes di ko alam kung kaninong set of friends sasama so I end up just being alone
16. I love looking at landscape pictures. Kung may camera ako eh di I would love to capture a photo as well.
17. I love...anime. Especially those japanese mecha (e.g. Gundam)
18. I have a fear of opening up to others. Minsan, nahihiya baka masabihan na feeling close or something to that effect.
19. People tend to see the exterior only, they almost always don't what's beyond it. I pity those types of people.
20. I love practicing groovy dance moves (ones from User especially..some of the moves ni Justin) pag nasa mood ako.. sana egoy ako!
21. Dream ko makakanta sa isang live concert (kaso wala akong k para kumanta eh)
22. I don't usually go for girls na maputi or mestiza. Basta para saken if nasa kanya yung "X" factor or a certain appeal ..panalo yun!
23. I hate rats and cockroaches
24. I would love to have my own dog (Siberian husky or golden retriever)
25. I like to take up Jujitsu or boxing if ever I have the time
26. I would like to take a Master's Degree in I.T. then hopefully teach
27. If i was given a job abroad, I'd take it right away.
28. Usual impression for me is mayabang, but in reality sobrang mahiyain ako.
29. A smile is important but it's so hard for me to smile unless sobrang tuwa ako.

Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 11:54 PM

I just found out something recently. The effect on me: depression.

My mind is blank. I'm confused. I do not know where I stand. I want to shout out.

God, please help me...

Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 1:14 AM

"If the bonds of time still doesn't turn its back on us..then someday maybe, just maybe we can go to Central Park..together."

"If being with you is a dream, I don't wanna wake up."

Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 10:58 PM

Recently, somebody told me that "it doesn't matter what people think. Don't think of what people would think. Anyway, in the long run it's your future and career that's on the line not theirs so don't worry about those anymore."

I realized that she is actually correct. I somehow knew it all along, I guess I just need someone to hit my head once in a while.

I am not complaining or anything. But it is hard when you're not that happy with your work/career. Especially if there's no fulfillment financially and no growth/development intelectually.

Damn.

Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 12:46 AM