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I just found this article...I think it's very useful =)
8 ways to handle an argument
1. Give your partner enough space to voice his or her concerns.I'm sure you hate it when people interrupt you; give your partner the same respect -- even if you don't agree with what they are saying.
2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what they are saying, when in fact you may not have a clue. If your partner feels like you understand what they are saying, you'll find a way to end the argument far more quickly.
3. Don't say something you'll regret later.Always consider your relationship like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken. Take care in choosing the words you say when you are in the heat of the moment.
4. Don't bring in past woes.The past is the past... let it stay there. If you dwell on past occurrences, you'll never find a solution for the future your partner will feel less loved and respected, and you will always feel negatively towards your partner. People make mistakes. Give your partner the chance to recover from them, and encourage and support them when they make the right choices.
5. Learn to compromise.If you can learn to compromise, you'll find yourself in fewer disagreements. If you don't like something, then agree with your partner to find some middle ground. This also applies the other way. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions for things your partner doesn't like as well!
6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.An argument is typically started because you want someone to agree with you about something. You think that the other person must not know all the facts, so you begin to explain it to them. The more your partner still disagrees with you, the more upset you usually get. But, if you realize that sometimes it is best to just let yourselves agree to disagree -- you'll show your partner that you not only respect their opinion, but respect their individuality as well. You never know, maybe later on they (or even you!) might change their mind.
7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.It's far too easy to run off and avoid your partner, or give them the silent treatment. Instead, make a commitment right now to each other to respect each other enough to work it out -- even if it takes all night. Nothing is unsolvable when you are working together to truly find a peaceful resolution.
8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.This does not mean bend over backwards for them or compromise your integrity. Just keep in mind that the person you are arguing with is your best friend, lover and soul mate. If you both keep that at the forefront of your mind in an argument, it will keep what matters most away from cruel words or intent -- your heart!
Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 4:27 AM
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Wow..It's been a month a month now or so since I last updated this. Anyway here I am now working the graveyard shift. Actually it's my rest day today, but right now (4:20am) I just woke up. *sigh* I guess this is the consequence of having shifting skeds. I have no regrets though, I'm enjoying my stay with the company (as of now). Hope this would not change until I get regularized or promoted (hehehe).
Anyway yesterday, I went to the mall. Watched 2 movies. Window shopped for items that I need and want. Basically I just want the time for myself. It has been awhile since I visited any mall. I guess I need a relief from all the stress and hardwork =)
Posted by Jerome Dashiel at 4:21 AM
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