D A S H

Update after 8 months..

2007-03-10T08:58:00.000+08:00

Bold typeface indicates accomplished**

1. Learn Cisco and become a CCNP (even CCNP would do)

2. Read Microsoft books MSDN books and if i have the bucks become certified

3. Read my Complete Series books by Sybex. (e.g. Linux, Networking, Java)

4. Learn commandline Linux / GUI Linux (e.g. mandrake)

5. Learn to program using Java

6. Re-learn to setup webserver at home using Apache

7. Read all the books that I stil haven't read up until now. (Purchased a lot of em but still haven't had the time to read).

8. Assemble and paint all my Gundam kits that are still in the closet gathering dust

9. Clean up and re-arrange my room.
Includes:
Rearranging cabinets, magazines, books, computer table, tv.

10. Buy the computer table that I've been drooling for weeks now

11. Learn how to cook assorted dishes without any cookbook.

12. Learn everything about my home network setup.

13. Learn to use mySQL database

14. Setup my own portal / website using any content management system. e.g. (PhpNuke, DragonFlyCMS et al.) using my own webhosting account.

15. Re-do my blog and migrate it to Wordpress

16. Have braces

17. Go on a vacation spree locally (Ilocos, Boracay et.al/.)

18. Go on a vacation spree internationally (Disneyland, Italy, Carribean et al.)

19. Do weight training again.

20. Increase grip strength and vertical leap.

21. Buy a new printer, 19" monitor, wireless printserver

22. Buy a new set of clothes

23. Hopefully, after I master all skills required, become a system admin on a corporate environment. (More $$$ if i'd become one abroad)

24. Setup a home theater system with Harman Kardon receiver and a nice set of speakers that will rock my neighbor's worlds hehehe.

25. Purchase a second hand car (a second hand beetle or mitsubishi lancer would do)

26. Purchase brandnew car (Honda Civic, or Mazda)

27. An O2 XDA would be nice as well as a brand new spankin cell phone.

28. Buy Sannheisser headphones

29. Learn PHP scripting

30. Re-learn HTML

31. Learn Microsoft .NET technology.

32. Become a full-pledged I.T. Helpdesk or System Admin

Gotta Lotta Do..so little time

2006-07-12T10:16:00.000+08:00

If only I could be a multiple man doing different tasks / jobs at any given day I would be a happy person.

Essentially this would allow me to accomplish given tasks in a small amount of time.
Imagine I can learn Cisco or learn to cook at the same day at different places. Well so much for daydreaming. Here are the list of things that I need / want to do if i could find the time.

Hope that I can at least accomplish some of these.

1. Learn Cisco and become a CCNP (even CCNP would do)

2. Read Microsoft books MSDN books and if i have the bucks become certified

3. Read my Complete Series books by Sybex. (e.g. Linux, Networking, Java)

4. Learn commandline Linux / GUI Linux (e.g. mandrake)

5. Learn to program using Java

6. Re-learn to setup webserver at home using Apache

7. Read all the books that I stil haven't read up until now. (Purchased a lot of em but still haven't had the time to read).

8. Assemble and paint all my Gundam kits that are still in the closet gathering dust

9. Clean up and re-arrange my room.
Includes:
Rearranging cabinets, magazines, books, computer table, tv.

10. Buy the computer table that I've been drooling for weeks now

11. Learn how to cook assorted dishes without any cookbook.

12. Learn everything about my home network setup.

13. Learn to use mySQL database

14. Setup my own portal / website using any content management system. e.g. (PhpNuke, DragonFlyCMS et al.) using my own webhosting account.

15. Re-do my blog and migrate it to Wordpress

16. Have braces

17. Go on a vacation spree locally (Ilocos, Boracay et.al/.)

18. Go on a vacation spree internationally (Disneyland, Italy, Carribean et al.)

19. Do weight training again.

20. Increase grip strength and vertical leap.

21. Buy a new printer, 19" monitor, wireless printserver

22. Buy a new set of clothes

23. Hopefully, after I master all skills required, become a system admin on a corporate environment. (More $$$ if i'd become one abroad)

24. Setup a home theater system with Harman Kardon receiver and a nice set of speakers that will rock my neighbor's worlds hehehe.

25. Purchase a second hand car (a second hand beetle or mitsubishi lancer would do)

26. Purchase brandnew car (Honda Civic, or Mazda)

27. An O2 XDA would be nice as well as a brand new spankin cell phone.

28. Buy Sannheisser headphones

29. Learn PHP scripting

30. Re-learn HTML

31. Learn Microsoft .NET technology.

32. Become a full-pledged I.T. Helpdesk or System Admin

Mixed

2006-05-02T12:39:00.000+08:00

Been a long while since I had to post here. I cannot make time to compose and publish entries lately. Busy..? I guess..

I just want to share that so many emotions are flowing in and out.

1. I'm happy
2. I'm sad
3. I'm confused
4. I'm angry

Geez..I can't understand either. Nor can I explain each and every emotion that I go through each and every hour of each and every day of my life.

I just wish na sana all people feel happy all the time..i guess there would no longer be conflicts with one's self, another person, or nature itself.

puerto galera

2006-03-29T11:03:00.000+08:00

Just been to an overnight(bitin!) stay at Galera. This time sa Whitebeach.
Really had a good time although I wish that sana mas matagal yung inistay ko dun.

Sarap ng buhay baboy. Kaen, tulog, kaen ulet, gumala sa beach front, kumaen, at mag stargazing, at kumaen ulet. May night life din pala dun. Although yung mga nagsasayaw eh mga bading na taga dun at hindi yung mga nagbabakasyon.

Sana maulet. Gusto ko maulet.

Post

2006-03-19T06:40:00.000+08:00

The last few posts that I have (kung mapapansin) is just limited to a few words.
Must be that I don't feel like posting every detail about something. These days I feel that something is missing / lacking. I do not even have an idea of what it is.
I wish I find it....as soon as possible.

On a lighter note, just like to mention na dumadami cute girls sa office. (kawaaiii!) Kung sino...ako na lang ang nakakaalam :)

2006-03-18T09:47:00.000+08:00

Crush
Infatuation. Something that you like about another person. Looks, attitude, disposition etc.

Wala lang. Hehehehe.

2006-03-16T08:41:00.000+08:00

Currently speechless.....
This too shall pass...

...

Wow!

2006-03-01T01:24:00.000+08:00

Nice! I wish I was driving one of these...

...

2006-02-18T14:36:00.000+08:00

parang baliw...naghihintay..nag-aalala...nalulungkot...napaparanoid at kung anu-ano pa.

Palayain mo ko sa pagkakakulong ko dito. Ayaw ko neto..

Still Alive

2006-02-15T23:06:00.000+08:00

You've read the title right. I am still alive and able to blog. After a few months of hibernation (or laziness), I can, at least at this very moment write something.

...and suddenly I went blank.

There are a lot of things on my mind right now. As in a lot! I just want to relax. Some distant place would do. I just want to hear the sound of birds chirping and waves splashing against the seashore.

Take me there..take me there now.

It's your birthday!

2005-11-22T14:07:00.000+08:00

To my mom who is celebrating her birthday today, Happy Birthday!!.
Hope you enjoy your day today!

Night out @ Bagaberde

2005-10-19T09:47:00.000+08:00

Late post. Well, better late than never ;)
----
During my rest days, I was treated (together with my friends) to two separate performances by Nyoy Volante and the beautiful Nina. I had the impression that Nyoy can only do mellow songs for his type of voice, but he proved me wrong when he sang a rendition of 'Change the World' by Eric Clapton. Unbelievable. U just watched in awe for 2 hours and I can't imagine that he could do various ranges with his voice. Overall, it was an excellent performance by him.

Next up was the beautiful and charming Nina. She sang high notes with ease. I only saw her change her facial expression (nahirapan ng konti) a few times when doing those high notes. Aside from that, everything was ok. No wonder she is liked and loved by many. She has this charisma that appeal to the crowd. Imagine her singing in front of stage and a person comes in and wants to take her picture up close with his/her digicam/phonecam and you know what she does?..She gladly obliges and even poses for the camera while singing. I can't forget her face. I even waved at her 2 times during her performance, she waved back at me. If you ask me, I almost melted right then and there(obvious ba na type ko sya?) :D

Anyway it was an enjoyable night together with my friends. It was a night that had me smiling all the time and applauding how great they are.

Hope I can go to the Halloween Party at Oct 31 same place--Bagaberde near Ultra :)

Omaewa...

2005-09-16T21:19:00.000+08:00

Due to insistent public demand, here is my first post for September. (I surely hope it won't be the last).

I want a vacation. A 3-month vacation would be nice. Tapos after 3 months tipong pwede pa ako bumalik sa work ko right away. Things that I would probably do on that long vacation:

1. I just want to catch up on the books that I want to read
2. Assemble and paint my Gundam model kits,
3. Eat, eat, eat, eat (need I say more?)
4. Go back to the gym and gain some freakin weight.
5. Take up an I.T course / Masters if time permits (and budget as well)
6. Go to Disnelyland HongKong

Madami pang iba pero tinatamad na akong mag-list.

Ciao!

My 2nd post for August

2005-08-28T18:47:00.000+08:00

If ever this post gets published, this would only be my 2nd entry for the month.

I was wondering.. what if the dark side of a person takes over what would become of him? I came up with the following answers of my own :

1. Assasinate every asshole (who think they're Gods) I come across with.
2. Torture every corrupt official in the government (including the ones on agengies like LTO)
3. Hang policemen and MMDA upside down a big cross
4. Ride on a fighter plane and bombard White House while Bush is sleeping

Sounds morbid? Nah..for me it's called justice :)

On a lighter note, meron akong riddle.

Riddle me this, riddle me that
You probably don't know this but you're really cute..at least for me. hehehe

Answer: Ikaw :)

Out.

2005-08-11T14:21:00.000+08:00

This is actually my first post in August.

Things that I miss during my collegiate years.

1. How I get to go home in the baha in Espana
2. classmates/ seeing my friends/barkada on a regular basis
3. Playing counterstrike and warcraft with them as well as insulting each other while we're at it.
4. Eating fishballs in the afternoon after classes.
5. I miss the radio announcement that there would be no classes because of a typhoon.
6. I miss the school fair or any other bazaars in a given time (especially the food bazaar)
7. Cutting classes and watching movies in SM Manila or Robinson's place
8. Classroom antics
9. Sleepovers after an inuman session
10. Wearing a t-shirt inside a uniform even if it's not allowed
11. Wearing an earring even if it's not allowed
12. The professors that inspired me and let me believe that there are actually good professors out there.
13. Tambay sa UST field after classes or whenever there's free time.
14. Cramming to study lessons a day before the exam in the under a freezer like temperature in the Filipiniana section of the library.
15. Letting the Recto people do our book report for a fee (to test if it was any good and as it turns out it's not worth it) hehehe
16. My crushes back then si AD, GE, and SL hehehe ;)

2005-07-29T22:03:00.000+08:00

I was tagged (napilitan..hehehe) by Meatmarket

What are the things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play?
1. Read fiction/fantasy books
2. Watch favorite anime cd's / dvd's
3. Surf the net about information on my interests

What lowers your stress / bloodpressure / anxiety level?
1. A good laugh
2. good music
3. eating out (with booze of course)

That's all folks!

I want this!

2005-07-18T01:21:00.000+08:00

Sony Cybershot DSC-F88 Digital Camera. I wish I could buy this sooner. I really want to have my own digicam so I can take pictures of anything and everything. Take landscape photographs, sunrise, sunset, kids playing, and etc. Just wish I have enough money to spend on this $ 399.95 gadget.

...And the ultimate camera for me..a Canon EOS Digital Rebel XT SLR camera that has manual operation/s.

Click!

....

2005-07-10T03:01:00.000+08:00

Lungkot....sobrang lungkot.......

Toys 4 Me

2005-07-01T02:56:00.000+08:00

Just realized na matagal na pala akong di nagpopost ng entry. These days wala lang akong maisip maganda ipost.

It is a misconception that toys are only for children.
Just want to share that usually when I am depressed, I just go to toy shops (e.g. Toy Kingdom, SM Dept Stores, etc. ) to browse or buy toys that I like. Actually ever since I was a kid, I was so happy just looking at the toys..happier if it was bought for me by mom or dad. :)

I've had lots of Matchbox toys (those little die-cast cars) that could actually fill up a whole cabinet if I were to display them. Tapos recently, I've started to build a little (pa lang) collection of Gundam model kits (like the ones below)

Toys make me happy. The type happiness which could be found on innocent little children na walang iniintindi sa mundo kundi ang maglaro lang ng maglaro. Somehow I like that feeling. Sabihin nyo nang isip-bata hehehe it's ok. Pero this is a part of me that I would not want taken away.

Anyway, just want to share that I found this toy to be interesting. Ganda kasi eh. Kung babae lang to niligawan ko na siguro. :)

Gazelle Action Figure

Retails for around Php 4,000+

Birthdays

2005-06-25T21:51:00.000+08:00

Dahil wala akong internet connection sa bahay dahil sa maganda kong modem. Ngayon ko lang na-ipost to.

Belated Happy Birthday to my Dad!! - June 21
Belated Happy Birthday to Me!! - June 23

Yun lang :)

isip2x

2005-06-18T04:07:00.000+08:00

Ngayon ko lang napapagisip-isip since I graduated 2 yrs ago, what have I been doing?

Am I still supposed to be here?

Am I just wasting my precious time doing a non-I.T. work?

Is it time to move on to the work that I really want to pursue?

I should. I would. I just have to find the right opportunity. I just need to study. I just have to. Else, I won't be satisfied and probably have regrets in the future.

Give me the oppurtunity. Give me Your blessing.

2005-06-16T12:22:00.000+08:00

"It's not who you are underneath, it is what you do that defines you"

Birth month

2005-06-09T04:27:00.000+08:00

JUNE:

Thinks far with vision. - Yup I always do look ahead in the future. Planning in advance and anticipating what would happen.
Easily influenced by kindness.- True
Polite and soft-spoken. - Most of the time cause I don't want somebody to get hurt by my sometimes "sharp tongue".
Having lots of ideas. - Dame sobra, if I only have the capacity to make some of those real.
Sensitive. - Minsan, when I'm feeling down mas magnified ito. Pero most of the time wala akong pakelam sa sinasabi ng iba, lalo na mga negative comments
Active mind. - Yup, Mr. Thinker ito
Hesitating, tends to delay. - May tendency lalo na if I'm not decided sa isang bagay
Choosy and always wants the best. - Very true indeed.
Temperamental. - Again, when I'm down this trait is magnified. But usually not.
Funny and humorous. - Yup. May sense of humor kahet papano :)
Loves to joke. - Minsan, pero I'm afraid that my joke would hurt somebody's feelings so I tend to keep it to myself na lang.
Good debating skills. - Hehehe. Need I say more?
Talkative. - to people I'm comfortable talking with. Otherwise, hindi masyado.
Daydreamer. - I love daydreaming.
Friendly. - Depends siguro. People mistake me for a snob, but usually I'm friendly
Knows how to make friends. - Yup.
Abiding. - Sometimes, but I tend to bend the rules. I go against it sometimes, I'm a rebel. Thank you.
Able to show character. - Yes, when the situation calls for it.
Easily hurt. - Sometimes
Prone to getting colds. - Nah.
Loves to dress up. - Yup when I'm in the mood. Pero I wouldn't mind coming to work or a meeting on an ugly set of clothes. For me, I dress up or dress down whenever I feel like it.
Easily bored. - True. I don't like repetitive tasks. Gusto ko parati iba, something new and something different.
Fussy.
Seldom shows emotions. - True. Although I rant sometimes but that's just it.
Takes time to recover when hurt. - Very true.
Brand conscious. - Not really/ As long as it's nice it's ok kahet walang brand.
Executive. - wtf?
Stubborn. - Sometimes

End post.

hypothetical situation

2005-06-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

I guess it would be better to write this in Filipino. Hypothetical Situation.
Hindi ba't may kasabihan na ang nakaraan ay dapat na manatiling nakaraan na lamang?
Ito ba ay akma sa mga may relasyon o sa mga may balak pumasok sa isang bagong
relasyon? Dapat ba itong pairalin sa mga taong nagmamahalan sa kasalukuyan.

Kung halimbawa ang dalawang tao (babae at lalake) ay nagkakilala na, nagligawan na at
lahat at naging sila na, importante ba na malaman ng isa't-isa ang kanilang nakaraan
maganda man ito o masagwa? Ang kanya-kanyang nilang kalokohan. Ang mga
kasinungalingang nagawa dati, mga panloloko at pang two-two time (kung ito ay parte).
Mga kakaibang alaala (flings, one-night stands, kissing friends etc.) at ang
kanilang magagandang alaala mula sa kanilang mga dating mahal/nakasama. Kelangan ba
ng dalawang taong ito na malaman ang lahat-lahat bago pa man sila nagkakilala?

At kung sakaling malaman nga ang mga bagay-bagay, dapat ba sumama ang loob nila sa
isa't-isa kung di nila magustuhan ang kanilang maririnig? May karapatan ba ang bawa't
isa na magalit? Dapat ba silang masaktan at dapat ba na magduda sa motibo ng bawat
isa?

Hindi ba dapat hindi na dahil iyon ay nakaraan na. Ang importante ay ang kasalukuyan
at kung ano man ang meron sa kanilang dalawa. Tama ba o mali?

Pero paano kung ganito...

Paano kung yung taong makakasama mo sa kasalukuyan ay siya ring nakasama mo na nung
nakaraan? Ano ang sasabihin mo kung may mga bagay siyang aaminin na ngayon mo lang
malalaman? Magagalet ka ba, malulungkot, malilito,matatakot? At kung ang mga bagay na iyon ay magdudulot sayo ng sama ng loob at kalungkutan...ano...ano ang iyong gagawin?
Ipapagpatuloy mo kung ano ang meron sa inyong dalawa at palipasin na lang dahil ito
ay nakalipas na?

"You didn't see anything..."

2005-05-29T23:31:00.000+08:00

I saw the movie "Madagascar" just a little while ago. I'm not a critic of some sort but I would like to post some of my insights about it.

The movie is about a story of a zebra wanting to get more out of life by taking chances and see what it's like to experience something new, something actually different. The zebra's desire to go to the wild and live a different life clearly demonstrates this.

We (or at least me) can somehow relate to the zebra's perspective. We all want to get the best that we can get in life. Living better lives than what we have right now (if we're not satisfied), is a dream for all if not most of us that sometimes we forget to appreciate the things that we have instead of complaining of something that we can or don't have as of the moment. Hindi nako masyado mag-eexpound at ayoko masyado magpaka-deep. :)

on the poem..

2005-05-28T23:55:00.000+08:00

Angel Of The Night

My angel of the night walks slowly passed my door,
My heart skips a beat and silently yearns for more.

Does she know how my heart does truly feel?
The second that she smiles I know that this is real.

Even if all the stars burned up from the sky,
And all of god’s children began to wail and cry.

I would walk to hell and back for but a glimpse of you,
Because I’m a man of honor and this is what we do.

And in the end there may come a night in which I may have to fight,
For my sweet angel of the night.

I know this does not sound very smart,
Can I help it ……I must follow my lonely heart

on being alone

2005-05-27T00:25:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure where or how to start. I'm not even sure if it's just me or any other reasons why I feel this. I'm not sure if i even make sense.

Everywhere I go, I feel like I'm always alone. It's like people have their own thing and I am left watching from the outside. They're like spirits who come and go. Why do i get the feeling that nobody cares? Why do I feel that I don't exist in this world. What if i was not born..would it make any difference? Would the world be the same without me? Drama? ..nah. But it's just how I feel. I'm pretty sure that I'm not a loner neither do I like that feeling of being alone.

Its actually 2 scenarios for me:
1. People seem to be distant
2. People seem to think that I am distant.

Maybe it is just me. A friend told me to "try and reach out to them". But how would I do that? How will I share something that I'm not even sure people would want to hear and understand.

It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I can't sometimes. It's really hard for me and I don't know why it even is. Reaching out..and sharing a part of me..damn! I can't even tell why I'm like this! Most probably it's the fear of getting rejected by peers. *sigh* Am I really that distant? The stupid me can't even answer these questions. I'm just left wondering most of the time.

I am willing to try ...question is...are they willing to listen?

Breathe

2005-05-26T03:45:00.000+08:00

Breathe by Michelle Branch

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
You say I've been driving you crazy and its keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I dont wanna waste another moment
in saying things we never meant to say

And I Take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I've been waiting for a chance to let you in

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space in between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe

Well it's all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real
And I Give you just a little time
I, Wonder if you realize
I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Breathe

So I whisper in the dark,
Hoping you hear me
Do you hear me?

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
Everything is alright if i just breathe... breathe

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain

Mask

2005-05-21T22:04:00.000+08:00

Physically, a mask is used to cover up the face. However it can also serve as "cover" for emotions. I guess that's where a mask comes in. You don't wanna show the world what you're feeling. You also don't want them to see your pain and suffering.

"The feeling of not being wanted REALLY hurts doesn't it?"

About Moi

2005-05-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

Ang haba na ng na-compose ko for my entry pero nung nag-publish post nag page cannot be displayed. In short, nawala lahat ng ginawa ko. Ganda at ang galeng!

Ayoko na ulitin yung serious part of my entry. Anyway here's a a little something about me:

Name: Jerome Dashiel D. Tolentino
Age: 23. I could pass up for 16 yrs old. Alam ni jing kwento neto.
Food: Manggang hilaw with bagoong. Strawberry shake ng Big Chill. chocolates ng Cadbury

Human Trait - Likes: Strong willed, natural at hindi pretentious
Human Trait - Dislikes: backstabbers.

Jerome's Factoids:

1. Torpe ako simula pagkabata up until ngayon. (up until now hanggang tingin pa din hehehe)
2. 2x akong grumaduate. One for Grade 6 - Aquinas School and One for Grade 7- Lourdes School of Mandaluyong
3. Dreamt of being a fireman when I was little.
4. I can somehow "feel" the presence of a ghost.
5. Frustrated drummer ako
6. I was named as "bading magnet" back in college by my blockmates. (may natural na ablility daw akong maka attract ng mga taong ganito).
7. Feet Size of 11 or 12.
8. Gusto ko pahaba ng buhok but cannot since magmumukha nakong addict :)
9. Plenty of moles throughout the body--lalo na sa mukha
10. It's hard for me to cry. I never even remembered the last time I cried hard.
11. I hate the rain...everything feels dark and gloomy
12. Aside from fearing God, I have a fear of disappointing others
13. I cannot live without a PC sa bahay. I can consider that as 50% of my life sa bahay.
14. I seem so cold and emotionless pero inside I'm really concerned especially if it's for my friends
15. I am sort of a loner. Sometimes di ko alam kung kaninong set of friends sasama so I end up just being alone
16. I love looking at landscape pictures. Kung may camera ako eh di I would love to capture a photo as well.
17. I love...anime. Especially those japanese mecha (e.g. Gundam)
18. I have a fear of opening up to others. Minsan, nahihiya baka masabihan na feeling close or something to that effect.
19. People tend to see the exterior only, they almost always don't what's beyond it. I pity those types of people.
20. I love practicing groovy dance moves (ones from User especially..some of the moves ni Justin) pag nasa mood ako.. sana egoy ako!
21. Dream ko makakanta sa isang live concert (kaso wala akong k para kumanta eh)
22. I don't usually go for girls na maputi or mestiza. Basta para saken if nasa kanya yung "X" factor or a certain appeal ..panalo yun!
23. I hate rats and cockroaches
24. I would love to have my own dog (Siberian husky or golden retriever)
25. I like to take up Jujitsu or boxing if ever I have the time
26. I would like to take a Master's Degree in I.T. then hopefully teach
27. If i was given a job abroad, I'd take it right away.
28. Usual impression for me is mayabang, but in reality sobrang mahiyain ako.
29. A smile is important but it's so hard for me to smile unless sobrang tuwa ako.

Dazed and Confused

2005-05-20T01:14:00.000+08:00

I just found out something recently. The effect on me: depression.

My mind is blank. I'm confused. I do not know where I stand. I want to shout out.

God, please help me...

Time

2005-05-09T22:58:00.000+08:00

"If the bonds of time still doesn't turn its back on us..then someday maybe, just maybe we can go to Central Park..together."

"If being with you is a dream, I don't wanna wake up."

Unhappy

2005-05-01T00:46:00.000+08:00

Recently, somebody told me that "it doesn't matter what people think. Don't think of what people would think. Anyway, in the long run it's your future and career that's on the line not theirs so don't worry about those anymore."

I realized that she is actually correct. I somehow knew it all along, I guess I just need someone to hit my head once in a while.

I am not complaining or anything. But it is hard when you're not that happy with your work/career. Especially if there's no fulfillment financially and no growth/development intelectually.

Damn.

...

2005-04-09T10:42:00.000+08:00

Ngayon lang ako nakapagpost ulet.

Ang masasabi ko lang:

Tsk.....Tsk.......Tsk.....Tsk......Tsk........Tsk......Tsk......Tsk...Tsk.....Tsk

Quit yappin and shut yer fuckin trap.

Have a nice day.

I Wanna Post pictures

2005-02-17T22:48:00.000+08:00

I want to post the Galera pictures from the outing (with my friends =) ) but

then again...it's too troublesome for me.... over a 100 pictures on a single camera. Nice!

...

2005-02-15T02:36:00.000+08:00

"I am afraid of losing something...something that is so much important to me."

Share lang

2005-02-12T00:36:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through my college notebooks and I found the notebook i used when I had nothing to do. The notebook that has some poems, some grievances, some happy thoughts and everything else that was me during that time. I found something there that I wrote back then:

" WHO AM I TO YOU "

Who am I to you? I think I am but a shadow that you rarely see. Either you're blind or you're playing blind. I am here, just here right in front of you and yet you tend to ignore my presence.
I'm trying to let you feel what I feel. But I guess those things are not enough for you to see through me. I wish you could see through what my intentions are and how sincere I am.

I just wish that somehow you would have a little glimpse of me..

Music Tag Along

2005-02-07T13:12:00.000+08:00

Madness in Music - Tag Along

Sunday, February 06, 2005
Madness in Music - Tag AlongI've been tagged by Gaygo

1. Random 10:
a. Negative things by Selwyn
b. Masaya by Rivermaya
c. Slide by Goo Goo Dolls
d. Crazy Over You by 112
e. Yeah by Usher
f. Burn by Usher
g. Girl On TV by LFO
h. Plush by Stone Temple Pilots
i. Daughter by Pearl Jam
j. I'm doin just fine by Boys II Men

2. What is the total amount of music files on your computer? 3.12 GB worth not including the new downloads. Dunno how many songs though :)

3. The last CD you bought is: Babyface and Michael Buble <--- binili for me

4.What is the last song you listened to before this message: Confessions II by Usher

5. Write down five songs you listen to a lot or mean a lot to you:

You're a God by Vertical Horizon
God Must Have Spent.. by N'Sync
Negative Things by Selwyn
Four Seasons of Loneliness by Boys II Men
Caught Up by Usher (saya ng beat eh) =)

6. Who are you gonna pass this stick to? (3 persons and why)
Gaygo, kaso siya na ang nagtag saken eh, yabang mo cge ako din wala na din maisip eh heheh
Alan, i know di kame the same taste when it comes to music but still...
Wylmer, kasi mahirap lang siya :) hehe

Mini-Vacation

2005-02-02T10:00:00.000+08:00

Just had a wonderful time at the beach as evidenced by me getting fried and sunburned. Somehow I wish that it was a little bit longer, let's say a week more =)

How i wish i had pictures of the underwater scenery. It was so marvelous and no words can describe what we all saw underwater. Mahal kasi ng underwater camera eh!

I really enjoyed going there. Sana maulit =)

Dou yu kotouda?

2005-01-20T23:02:00.000+08:00

"No you are selfish" said the 1st guy.
"You are actually selfless" said the 2nd guy.
"What is it with you guys?" "What's the deal?" says the last person who butted in.

"Well probably you both are stupid" added the 3rd person.
"Why is that?" said the two.
"Because you both are thinking that way". "I will tell both of you not to expect something...because if you do, you just might end up getting hurt."

The two guys became silent, while the third one continued "You guys just do what you have to do...just be happy with the way things are right now. Don't complain, just be content and happy"

"I guess so" both guys said in unison.

Naruhodo

2005-01-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

This is the way it's gonna be.

I don't know if this is right.

I don't know if this is stupid.

Here I go again...

Sou des ka..

2005-01-04T15:39:00.000+08:00

I have a lot of things to write about. Lots and lots of thoughts that I want to blurt out.
But then again, that would be troublesome for me to do.

Although there are few things that I would want to get off my chest:

"NOBODY can force me or make me do something that I WOULD NOT WANT TO DO."

"It takes two to tango."

As i said, I still have lots of thoughts, rants to blurt out...but i don't want to waste my time and effort para lang dun. Anyway, it's not worth it. That would just be troublesome for me.

Yun lang. :)

New Template

2005-01-02T19:07:00.000+08:00

Bagong taon, bagong template. Matagal ng nirereklamo ng kaibigan ko (alam mo kung sino ka) kung gaano kapanget yung template ko. Palitan ko na daw.

Well, here I am and I gave into the request. Actually, wala rin naman magawa dito sa office so to refresh my skills in Html I changed my template. It's actually easy for me to read html codes..it's just that I'm lazy and I have no drive whatsoever. (hehehe..tamad).

So much for that...

Well, I have so many things to be thankful for. If I mention all of them, it would take pages to display the information. Basta I'm thankful for everything. All I can say is that, I appreciate everything that was given to me.

Happy New Year to all!

Christmas na!

2004-12-23T23:34:00.000+08:00

Ang lamig. Ang sarap matulog. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Natutuwa lang ako makakita na nagmamadali at maraming bitbit na pinamili lalo na sa mga malls. It's just nice to see people getting thoughtful (at least kahet christmas lang).

By the way, just wanna thank those guys na binigyan ako ng gifts..I wont mention names na lang. Anyway (you know who you are)..Sobrang di ko expected and sobrang..wala akong ma-react nung natanggap ko :) Natuwa ako na parang bata! :)

Merry X'mas and a Happy New Year to all my friends and my fellow bloggers!

2004-12-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

This is the first time that I feel very very very low...
I am like an earthworm..just an inch above the earth.
Crawling..wiggling.. endlessly...

Unlucky things happen on circumstances that I cannot control.
Bad timings for everything...
Why is this happening? Why is everything like this?
Can it be that "this was not meant to be"?
It seems that things are not falling into place
Like a jigsaw puzzle scattered around
It's always like I end being the bad guy even if i don't intend to.
I end up on a bad situation even if don't want to
Why?

Boring

2004-12-10T20:26:00.000+08:00

I slept til 2pm in the afternoon. Did my grocery at 5pm. Missed someone all the time. Yun lang.

I still can't find a nice blogskin to replace this template. My eyes are hurting na and still I can't look for a decent blogskin. Just added sa sidebar yung wishlist ko hehehe. Enjoy reading!

My Lucky Day

2004-12-08T18:21:00.000+08:00

It started when I was outside of our village, waiting for a ride to the office. However I had to wait there for almost an hour or so. Finding a ride was tricky. I can’t ride an FX because the route to Cubao was well..traffic as hell. Getting a cab proved to be tricky as well. I go on one location taxis get hitched on another location. I go back to that location taxis get hitched on the other. This went on for many times. I almost wanted to shout out loud when two people who just started waiting got to ride the taxi first. AAArrggh! I want to punch someone na kanina.

I was able to get a cab however, parang wala rin because ma LeLATE na din ako.
I arrived in the office ground floor full of people. Apparently the elevators were all messed up because of a fire drill. I walked 13 damn floors using the stairs. I was late. I was panting. Pollution smell was all over me. I was messed up…today is my "lucky" day.

Just now I found out the my atm was de-magnetized. It would not slip through any ATM machine. Good thing I have my metrobank account...

I think I was cursed for this day...kung sino man yun..please patawarin nyo nako!

"Hontou-ni gomennasai"

2004-12-08T03:19:00.000+08:00

Selwyn - "Negative Things"

I wonder why sometimes we fall apart oh yeah
Together we are so wonderfull yeah baby
And every single day i pray, that really things shouldnt never be this way
Im only trynna be a better man

Why then do you see all the negative things, in me?
Cos all i ever do is try to be, all that i can be
Girl you know your hurting me, all the things you say to me
As i lie at night im imagining things, how it used to be, girl you know your hurting me
What am i to do with a broken heart?

All the time everybody say that you and me are over
But i know were meant to be together for eternity
Was it untrue what we promised each other?
Baby my heart keeps telling me
That it shouldnt be this way forever
Im only trynna be a better man

Why then do you see all the negative things, in me?
Cos all i ever do is try to be, all that i can be
Girl you know your hurting me, all the things you pray to me
As i lie at night im imagining things, how it used to be, girl you know your hurting me
What am i to do with a broken heart?

Girl remember when, we made our promises?
That we would be together through-out every single thing
Now im only trynna be a better man, but you've never noticed that
Girl i truely love, to be around you
And baby ill give you anything you want me to
Cos i know this might be hard for you,And i know that we will be

Why then do you see all the negative things, in me?
Cos all i ever do is try to be, all that i can be
Girl you know your hurting me, all the things you pray to me
As i lie at night im imagining things, how it used to be, girl you know your hurting me
What am i to do with a broken heart?

2004-12-07T15:31:00.000+08:00

GooGoo Dolls - "Here is Gone"

You and I got something
But it's all then it's nothing to me yah
I got my defenses
When it comes to your intentions to me yah
And we wake up in the breakdown
In the things we never thought we could be yah
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We've got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me I can fear you falling
And I won't tempt to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

I am no solution To this sound of dispollution in me yah
And I was not the answer so forget you if ever thought it was me yah
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We've got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me I can fear you falling
And I won't tempt to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I don't need a fall out
Of all the past that's here between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here

And I want to get free
Talk to me I can fear you falling
And I won't tempt to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone
And I want to get free
Talk to me I can fear you falling
I know it's out there I know it's out there I can fear you falling
I know it's out there I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone
I know it's out there I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone

==================
Wala lang nice song :)

Wislis ko

2004-12-05T15:39:00.000+08:00

It’s the start of the workweek…and as usual I’m here sa office on a Saturday/Sunday.
Parang gusto kong mag-rant, but I’ll pass muna. I don’t want na puro “reklamo” ang content ng blog ko.

So eto, I’m gonna deviate muna from the usual “reklamos”.

Things I Wish I Have
1. Mini Cooper S
2. Honda CR-V loaded with sound and aesthetic setup
3. My own basketball court
4. My own gym loaded with lots of barbells and dumbbells
5. Eyewear collection arranged by brand(Oakley, Armani, Dolce&Gabana, etc.)
6. Watch collection also arranged by brand (Casio, Rolex, etc.)7. Toy collection (matchboxes, robots, other action figures)

My $ .02 on love

2004-11-25T10:15:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...I'm not sure how to start. Let me just be practical and not be sappy on this one.
Love...yeah that thing called love. What is it? Is it only a thought? Is it a feeling? Or is it a mix of both? Speaking from experience, I can say it's both.

Love is when you think of the other person always. I mean think of her needs. Be concerned on what she feels. Make an effort to surprise her. Basta doing everything that would make you see her sweet smile of appreciation.

Love is also about improving for each other. I say improve because some people might say that "love is not about changing, it's accepting each other's faults blah blah". Yes it's true that you accept each other's faults but if something can be done to improve it(faults) di ba mas better na ganun? I mean don't we want things to be better?

Compatibility also plays a role. If you're personalities compliment each other, that's a good sign. But if it doesn't these 2 people would have to work doubly hard to make things work. I'm not saying that everytime you have to date someone find out his/her sign and take compatibility tests online ..not in that way. You'll know when the 2 of you are together. If you can relate with each other, then that's a good start.

Love is not all about blaming each other for mistakes, it's about how to make things work. Reaching for a compromise would be the best bet.

Well probably this all I have to say for now muna, I can't type everything that I have learned from love.

Everything happens for a reason

2004-11-23T06:57:00.000+08:00

"Everything happens for a reason"

A quote that I'm already used to hearing. My only question would be..is it really true? Is it like that something good or bad might happen now that would be interconnected somehow or in someway to the events that would happen in the future.

What is the reason? Would the reason be good enough? Does God really intervene and say "This is not the right time for you," "this is not the right job for you" , or "this is the end for you". Perhaps only God knows. We can't actually see the future. All we can do is just wait for it to happen. We are powerless to some extent. Although what we can do is just cherish everything that we have as of the moment. So why am I writing this? Wala lang naisip ko lang bigla. I just had the itch to type what's on mind. That's it.

On fairy tales and happy endings

2004-11-20T06:19:00.000+08:00

"Fairy tales do come true" ; "They lived happily ever after"

These are just some of the phrases that are only applicable in storybooks, movies, etc. Do I hear Cinderella? SnowWhite? Beauty and the Beast?

I am not a cynic nor am I a pessimist. I am not. I see things on this perspective probably because of the different hells that I've been through, I no longer think of happy endings and fairy-tale like events that would happen in my life. Kung mangyayare mangyayare. I know what some people are gonna say after they read this " eh ako din naman nahihirapan"; "Di lang ikaw ang ang namomoblema sa mundo"; "lahat tayo nahihirapan"; "look on the bright side"; "Heck, I've probably been through worse". Point is kayo yun. Your view is different from mine.

Yeah call me a pessimist, call me bitter or whatever you wanna call me. A realist would be an appropriate term. I am not saying that I don't believe in those things nor am I saying that it would no longer or will never happen to people or even me, I'm just not expecting anything..anymore.

Let's face it. We are not characters from storybooks that play certain parts. We are not prince charming. We are not a damsell-in-distress that would wait for our prince to come and rescue us. Yes, we do play our parts. But that doesn't include killing the dragon and rescuing a princess, kissing a frog and marry the resulting princess, defend a kingdom and save the world.

I'm lost on my thoughts and I don't know what to write about and how to continue what i have started here. In additrion, I guess some things, beliefs, and attitudes are just meant to be buried within me. Hoping that they would never have to resurface. It might be good, it might be bad.

Slumbook/Slambook whatever

2004-11-18T01:18:00.000+08:00

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Italy, New Zealand

2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? kahet ano, t-shirts,polo

3. FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? Eyes, height, hair

4. WHAT'S THE LAST THING THAT YOU BOUGHT? lenses for my glasses
. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? In a coffee shop, park

6. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? back and shoulders

7. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? what you're mind can conceive you're body can achieve

8. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? ---> 7.30 am

9. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? steak griller

10. WHAT MAKES YOU REAL ANGRY ? Condescending sons of bitches, backfighters, know-it-all fools

11. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE? drums and bass guitar

12. FAVORITE COLOR? --> Red

13. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? --> somehow,i fear it though

14. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? Richard Scarry series

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Christmas, ang babaet kasi ng mga tao

16. WHAT'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE? laundry

17. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE (IF ANY)? wala eh

18. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER WHAT WOULD IT BE? ---> power to read minds, teleportation

19. CAN YOU JUGGLE? juggle what? dapat specific hehehe

20. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO? Europe

21. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? Madami...partly because I want to thank them..

22. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY? ---> Saturday

23. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR ? No car, if ever meron cguro yung subwoofer ng sound system =)

24. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER ? ---> hamburgers galore!

25. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU E-MAILED THIS TO WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ---> Ewan ko?

26. WHO'S LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ---> ung mga bc...

27. FAVORITE FLOWER? ---> White roses

28. WHO IS YOUR CRUSH? ---> Amanda Griffin

29. TOP 5 MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN/men
1. Amanda Griffin
2. Bianca Araneta
3. Sandra Bullock
4. Larisa Oleynik (alex mack)
5. Rachel leigh cook

30. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Aba malay ko

Links

2004-11-16T15:12:00.000+08:00

Due to insistent public demand, naglagay nako ng links. Although mano-mano lang ang paglagay ko. I'm still figuring out kung pano ko i-order by Name. Maybe next time.. yun lang. :)

....

2004-11-07T17:49:00.000+08:00

Things are not clear as of the moment. It's like a big blur. I hate it when I feel this way.
Sana....never mind na nga lang...I don't wanna be quoted the wrong way. Damn! I hate this!

You do something..people start to ask what it means. They start interpreting things. Well, as long as I understand myself and what I'm doing...there's no need to explain things to anybody.

I make my own decisions. I make my own choices. I make my own mistakes. I can make them anytime, anywhere, and anyplace. Nobody could force me to do anything that I'm not yet prepared or ready for. That's the way it's gonna be. Damn!

...Currently doing nothing

2004-11-07T17:35:00.000+08:00

I logged into my callmaster and was greeted by cheers of no calls from my teammates. The reason would be that the tools that we use are down since morning. It's now 5.30pm and there are still no tools. Haay...sana nagcall-in na lang ako...hahaha..Wish ko lang..I don't want to be absent na din. One more and it would merit me a nice Written Warning.

There are days that there's so much joy and there are days where there are none. I guess my question would be..If I am feeling happy at the moment, would there come a time where I would feel equally sad. I mean it's like it's a push and pull thing. One day you're all gloomy and blue, the next day sobrang euphoric ka naman. Whatever...what the hell am I saying? Dala na to ng sobrang kabatuhan.

Right now, I'm feeling confused about a lot of things. I just don't want to think about it na lang. Just like what a friend told me, "You can't solve it all in one night..."

I wanna go out somewhere...far...far..from here. Beach, mountain, hot springs, wherever. As long as I can relax and release all the tension that I have in my mind. I miss all my former officemates. When we go out, we go out like there's tomorrow. Booze, pulutan, harutan, kulitan..I wish (wish lang) I can file for a leave, try contact them and go out somewhere.

Just got this from a Message board

2004-11-02T20:42:00.000+08:00

The Important Things in Life

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be - a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from.

In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones. If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. Learn a lesson in life each day that you live! Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday. Think About it? Was it worth it?

2004-10-31T11:02:00.000+08:00

Retro pic

In response to the Comment..

2004-10-31T10:47:00.000+08:00

I don't like to wage a word war with you whoever you are.

I just like to make it clear that if I want to I can make time and date this girl that I have my eyes on.

What I'm tired about is not thinking about this, but I'm tired of the actual work, the schedule etc..

Intiendes?

Listening to Anime music/soundtracks

2004-10-30T09:34:00.000+08:00

It's a Saturday morning...*sigh* I am supposed to be at the mall relaxing and enjoying the weekend. But here I am..typing and thinking (about what?). I want to have a weekend as in Saturdays and Sundays off. I feel like I've got no life at all. Can't even contact my college friends to go out and stuff. Can't even have a date with someone I have my eyes on *sigh*...

I'm tired...I really am. If only I have a choice damn it!

Jeez...nalungkot ako bigla...Next time na lang ako mag popost ulet.

Sa Wakas!

2004-10-24T05:55:00.000+08:00

Nakita ko na din sya. Sobrang sweet nya. Iba ang feeling...parang heaven sobra! I have no complains whatsoever. Sobrang sweet nya grabe. Flawless pa sya.....haaay :)

...Ang sarap talaga ng Cadbury Black Forest chocolate....:D

My Top Questions

2004-09-29T05:45:00.000+08:00

1. Is God favoring other people when he grants graces and blessings?
Follow up to that would be:

2. Is God only "good" to people who are in a way "good" to Him.(e.g. Those people who pray everyday, those who go to mass everyday and every Sunday and those who do good things)
How about the rest of us who don't qualify for all "good" categories?

3. Why is that when you seek something you never have the chance of capturing it, but when you just let it be it just comes to you?

4. Why is it that memories linger even if you wanted it out of your mind?

5. Why is it that I don't feel blessed sometimes?

6 . Why is the sky blue?

7 . Why do birds chirp?

8. Why the hell am I asking these questions?

Songs..

2004-09-26T05:47:00.000+08:00

The other day while I was on my way to the office, the taxi's radio was playing Josh Groban's rendition of "She's Out of my Life". The first few lines echoed in my ears. "She's out of my life...she's out of my life..do think for 2 years that she was here"..kept repeating itself as I was listening to the music. *Sigh* and sudden flashbacks of "us" being together before appeared in my mind.

Damn! It's been months already and with just one song, I allowed myself to be affected so much.
I really don't want to think about it already, but the more I avoid it the more it appears. I'm not expecting anything to happen. I already accepted my fate and that's it. But i can't help but be sad sometimes because of the things that happened.

I'm just wishing that something would happen..a miracle perhaps...that if ever God doesn't want her back in my life...

That He just erase everything, every memory, and every thought of her in my mind to the point that when I wake up one day I would no longer recognize her or her entire existence. If only...that is possible.

Freeze to Death

2004-09-19T01:40:00.000+08:00

It's Sunday and as usual I'm in the office. But it's my last day today (yay!), tomorrow's my off.
Usually I only log on to this blog to calm my mind of so many different things that I think about(as in so many!). Now I don't know what to post and I don't know what to think(funny isn't it?).

9th Day

2004-09-18T08:20:00.000+08:00

I was absent yesterday from work and I won't be able to play basketball with the team today even if I wanted to. It's stated in the rules that "you cannot be absent the day before the game yadayada". *sigh* Goodbye to 100% schedule adherence.

It's a valid absence anyway since it concerns the death of a beloved family member, specifically my dad's sister. I went on to celebrate her 9th death day yesterday with a mass at their village chapel in Las Pinas. I realized how selfish I am when I wasn't able to go to her interment last Sunday so I (together with my brothers) went over there yesterday to show some concern and empathy towards her family. She was a great person, although I only get to meet her and her family at least once a year (Christmas reunion). May she rest in peace and find eternal bliss in the Lord's arms.

I also saw my cousin there. It's been a long time since I last saw her back in 2002 i think. At least somehow we got to talk and joke around a little bit. She's the only cousin that I can say that I'm close to on this part of the family. I hope I can see her again and play billiards with her(finally! after all the planning) :)

I don't know

2004-09-18T08:08:00.000+08:00

Can it be possible? She's pretty, charming...and sweet (not to mention friendly). Nah...I don't think it is possible that I have a crush on her. I don't wanna think that way....but *sigh*...if only I could find a lady like her... Maybe I just want to find someone with the same traits as her.

I can't .... I can't think that way.

Para sa mga officemates kong nangiintriga, di siya taga PeopleSupport. So tigil nyo na ang intriga hahahaha :)

Wala lang.

Acceptance

2004-09-09T01:30:00.000+08:00

I have lost all hope...every inch and every drop of it.... I would like to let this sun set and just wait for another sunrise to come...however I would like to enjoy everything including the night that currently envelopes every thought and every thing I feel. I'm not expecting anything nor am I hoping for anything to happen after all the bullshit and crap that came between us. Frankly, I don't want to think about you anymore. But the more I supress it, the more I get to think.

Well, what I do know is that, this feelings are real and there's no other way but to acknowledge it. I think it would be the only way for me to accept things as they are, that things like this are bound to happen, that there is no one person for you, that there are no happy endings in this world, and that everything happens for a reason. I'm not bitter but over these past few months I have learned to accept the things that happened to me. I guess God has better plans for me or...it's just not meant to be...

Lost....Somewhere

2004-09-04T02:43:00.000+08:00

I'm here in the office right now. Shift starts at 1 am and I'm gonna freeze to death in my seat. So many calls..so many dumb customers...but well that's part of my job =)

All ABout Arguments

2004-08-31T04:27:00.000+08:00

I just found this article...I think it's very useful =)

8 ways to handle an argument

1. Give your partner enough space to voice his or her concerns.I'm sure you hate it when people interrupt you; give your partner the same respect -- even if you don't agree with what they are saying.

2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what they are saying, when in fact you may not have a clue. If your partner feels like you understand what they are saying, you'll find a way to end the argument far more quickly.

3. Don't say something you'll regret later.Always consider your relationship like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken. Take care in choosing the words you say when you are in the heat of the moment.

4. Don't bring in past woes.The past is the past... let it stay there. If you dwell on past occurrences, you'll never find a solution for the future your partner will feel less loved and respected, and you will always feel negatively towards your partner. People make mistakes. Give your partner the chance to recover from them, and encourage and support them when they make the right choices.

5. Learn to compromise.If you can learn to compromise, you'll find yourself in fewer disagreements. If you don't like something, then agree with your partner to find some middle ground. This also applies the other way. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions for things your partner doesn't like as well!

6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.An argument is typically started because you want someone to agree with you about something. You think that the other person must not know all the facts, so you begin to explain it to them. The more your partner still disagrees with you, the more upset you usually get. But, if you realize that sometimes it is best to just let yourselves agree to disagree -- you'll show your partner that you not only respect their opinion, but respect their individuality as well. You never know, maybe later on they (or even you!) might change their mind.

7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.It's far too easy to run off and avoid your partner, or give them the silent treatment. Instead, make a commitment right now to each other to respect each other enough to work it out -- even if it takes all night. Nothing is unsolvable when you are working together to truly find a peaceful resolution.

8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.This does not mean bend over backwards for them or compromise your integrity. Just keep in mind that the person you are arguing with is your best friend, lover and soul mate. If you both keep that at the forefront of your mind in an argument, it will keep what matters most away from cruel words or intent -- your heart!

Here I Am

2004-08-31T04:21:00.000+08:00

Wow..It's been a month a month now or so since I last updated this. Anyway here I am now working the graveyard shift. Actually it's my rest day today, but right now (4:20am) I just woke up. *sigh* I guess this is the consequence of having shifting skeds. I have no regrets though, I'm enjoying my stay with the company (as of now). Hope this would not change until I get regularized or promoted (hehehe).

Anyway yesterday, I went to the mall. Watched 2 movies. Window shopped for items that I need and want. Basically I just want the time for myself. It has been awhile since I visited any mall. I guess I need a relief from all the stress and hardwork =)

Bored and this Feelings

2004-07-11T15:48:00.000+08:00

*Sigh* it's been almost 2 months already since...nevermind. I wouldn't like to spill out all the feelings that I've felt here in blog.

But somehow, I kinda miss those times. When I can't get to do anything and I'm bored the thoughts and memories just pop out of my head. There it goes like the whirlpool of the ocean, sucking me in the infinite abyss like a helpless sailor

Hope I'll be okay soon. I just need to do things to keep my mind off those thoughts.
I'd like to take up drum lessons and hopefully martial arts (damn right!)

Right now I can say that I'm afraid..afraid to love in the same manner as I did before.
I don't know...I guess everything happens for a reason. I sure hope that there is really a good reason behind all this.

2004-04-13T22:55:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling blue. It's been 3 damn days. *sigh* I wish I could just forget everything in an instant...Like with just blinking my eyes..all will be lost. But I can't..I don't know why. I hope there are things that I can do so that I can distract myself from such.

2004-04-09T07:10:00.000+08:00

I just registered. So I don't know any topic I would like to talk about. Probably in the coming days. See yah

2004-04-08T16:17:00.000+08:00

Hi! This is Jerome Dashiel Tolentino. I welcome you to my blogspot. Enjoy reading!